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Home » Baking and Desserts

Bake for the Memories

by Beth Lee · Published: Dec 3, 2010 · Modified: Nov 30, 2022

A Loving Tribute to a Fabulous Woman and a Prolific Baker

When Hermine, the mom of one of my dearest friends in the world, baked, she was not just baking cookies, she was baking memories.

A view of a large table of cookies at a cookie party where we continue the legacy and cherish Hermine's baking memories.
Some of Hermine's fabulous cookies, baked by friends and family

October 2009, my dear friend’s mother, Hermine, my most favorite cookie baker of all time -  left this world far too soon. When she died, we lost so much. We lost her vibrant personality, quick wit, bottomless generosity, staunch feminism, her annual boxes of cookies and so, so much more.

But we also gained so much from the time that she was alive. And one of the greatest gifts she gave us all was the memories we have created when gathered around any dining table eating her cookies and sharing each other’s lives.

Hermine wasn't just baking cookies, she was baking memories.

We ate her cookies at the annual summer gathering, each Hannukah, at Yom Kippur break fast, the Jewish New Year, our babies’ namings, every child’s birthday party and the list goes on. Whenever she attended a gathering and asked what she could bring, the answer from all of us was always the same - COOKIES!

The Coveted Cookie List

There is great cookie lore surrounding Hermine's cookies.

Hermine was raised in the Jewish faith but loved the baking traditions and cookie exchanges at Christmas time. Each year she baked dozens and dozens of cookies around the holidays -- so many that she could freeze dozens and still make up boxes of cookies to give to close friends and relatives.

Hermine and Mary at a party in someone's kitchen.
Hermine on the right and our much-missed Grandma Mary. They became good friends.

But in her household, friends were plentiful and friends were family too. So the cookie box list was long. Getting on that list was almost like getting into a private club -- great when you're on the inside but lonely on the outside. Despite our long relationship, we always seemed to be eating out of other people's boxes at their homes and gatherings.

So after both of our kids were born and they were still small and adorable, my husband decided we had to get on the list. He devised an underhanded scheme and sent our fabulously cute children over to "grandma" Hermine and had them ask how we could get on the cookie list.

Hermine was a sucker for cute kids and especially ones that called her grandma Hermine, so the devious and totally manipulative plan worked. Mumbling something like "extortion" under her breath, she said we were in!

A Gold Medal at the Cookie Olympics

But there's more -- now that we were on the list, we needed to prove our worthiness. So we baked. And not just a simple cookie. No, we perfected a rugelach - a wonderful cream cheese butter dough rolled into crescent-like forms filled with nuts and chocolate. Not an easy baked good to master.

Email this recipe to me!

We'll email this post to you, so you can come back to it later!

When we felt that it was good enough, we summoned up our courage and brought it to the annual Hannukah gathering so Hermine could taste it and compare it to hers. As the sweat beaded up on our brows and we could just see our names being erased from the coveted cookie list, the cookie queen made her ruling known -- we were in fact worthy to remain. She admitted our rugelach not only equalled hers but perhaps surpassed it! This pronouncement was like getting a gold medal at the Cookie Olympics!

And learning from Hermine, our rugelach baking has indeed been a journey of baking memories as well.

Dad and two kids making rugelach on a kitchen counter.
Baking memories of our late son and our daughter baking rugelach with dad.

Keeping Old Memories Alive While Creating New Ones

After Hermine's death, our group of friends decided her cookie baking must live on. We began a tradition called the Annual Hermine Memorial Cookie Exchange. We each bake a couple of her recipes and then gather to create the cookie boxes that Hermine used to do on her own!

My husband and I brought our rugelach recipe and were so proud for it to be part of the first annual cookie exchange. We ate lots of cookies, drank champagne, laughed, talked, danced with Hermine’s grandkids, sang songs around the piano and remembered all evening that sharing food creates the most wonderful memories and keeps memories alive.

Since then, we have gathered each and every year (except when the pandemic made it unsafe) and continue to treasure our time together and the legacy of Hermine and her baking memories.

Top down view of a tupperware full of cookies from a cookie party.

Some of Hermine's Cookie Recipes

Oatmeal Bittersweet Chocolate Chunk

Jam Thumbprints

If only Hermine were still alive to know I wrote a book about baking! And I included her butter-based hamantaschen recipe in it!

Buy my cookbook now!

More Baking and Desserts

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    Chocolate-filled Hamantaschen: or was that a Mexican wedding cookie?
  • Flat lay of lots of dairy free macaroons both flat ones and puffy ones dipped and drizzled with a cooling rack and limes and a bowl of ganache plus macadamia nuts.
    Dairy Free Macaroons with Macadamia Nuts, Lime and Chocolate
  • Apricot lekvar in offwhite bowl with a spoon of apricot filling and a plate in the background.
    How to Make Apricot Butter for Hamantaschen
  • Dairy free chocolate pudding with nuts on top and other bowls of pudding with whipped cream in the background.
    Dairy-free Chocolate Pudding with Hazelnut Crumble

Reader Interactions

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  1. Dana @ Foodie Goes Healthy

    September 27, 2015 at 11:27 pm

    This is such a beautiful and heart-warming story in every way. I love how food brings people together and how Hermine lives on through her beloved recipes.

    Reply
    • Beth Lee

      September 30, 2015 at 11:01 am

      Thanks Dana! I adore your story about how you ended up with your rugelach recipe. Those moments are the best.

      We meet yearly to recreate her cookie box and it is always a sweet and bittersweet event. Always worth the effort.

      Reply
  2. Beverly

    September 27, 2015 at 7:46 am

    Beth
    Thanks for sharing this. I too have great memories of Hermine. We were girls together - going to SJSU, sharing "secrets" and how to light a cigarette to cool off some passion!! We had known one another for over 50 years and when I came from Nevada to visit, it was always like "coming home". I miss that and her.

    Reply
    • Beth Lee

      September 30, 2015 at 10:58 am

      Beverly - so great to be in touch. We all miss her very much but it's great to keep her memories alive together!

      Reply
  3. Phil

    November 17, 2012 at 1:47 pm

    A beautiful story! A beautiful woman. I remember new flowers in the entryway every week.

    Reply
    • Beth

      November 18, 2012 at 12:10 pm

      Yes - there is much to miss about Hermine but I love that we each have a unique memory to share!I am so excited to have you as a reader and commenter Phil!

      Reply
  4. Kelly Rowe

    January 05, 2011 at 9:23 pm

    Dear Beth,
    I really enjoyed your post about Hermine. I am a friend of Sharon, and I was really fond of Hermine. Tonight I baked the Heavenly Holiday Chews and froze them for Rubie's Bar Mitsvah. I thought of her the whole time I was baking, and hoped she was up there somewhere looking watching. I had to laugh about your rugelah. I never had baking anxiety until I was making these cookies. I just knew they were too big, too dry, too round, too flat---but my daughter says they are good--so Hermine must have given me a boost!
    Hope to meet you when I come to SF!
    Kelly

    Reply
  5. Irene Saiger

    December 07, 2010 at 8:35 pm

    I love this story. I too remember people by the meals we shared or the recipes we exchanged. Do you plan to share the rugelach recipe?

    Happy Chanukah,
    Irene

    Reply
    • omgyummy

      December 08, 2010 at 11:52 am

      I will be sharing the rugelach recipe soon but will email it to you in the meantime. I always love your stories in your blog Irene. Keep em coming.

      Reply
  6. Laurie Vidt

    December 04, 2010 at 10:39 pm

    Beth this is beautiful. I was about 10 the first time I tasted Hermine's cookies and I remember how wonderful they were. I miss her big hugs and her, "How are you Honey" She left a piece of her in all our hearts.
    She would love this tribute and the fact that some many can enjoy the cookies still today.
    I can not wait to see the recipes. Thanks so much, Laurie

    Reply
    • omgyummy

      December 07, 2010 at 1:04 pm

      I'm reinforcing my baking supplies to begin the cookie production soon! Although writing this post made me cry several times, it also made me happy to think of her and I love that it's bringing us all together virtually. Looking forward to seeing you in person soon!

      Reply
  7. Christy

    December 04, 2010 at 7:05 am

    I saw this in a #cookieweek search on Twitter. What a wonderful tribute and I simply love the memorial cookie exchange idea. Have a wonderful holiday season!!

    Reply
    • omgyummy

      December 04, 2010 at 7:24 am

      Thanks Christy. She was a wonderful woman. Her legacy will live on through her cookies and so much more. This group of friends will all be doing a lot of baking over the next few weeks - it helps us remember her and makes us feel like we're together even when physically, we are not. Keep on baking!

      Reply
      • Betsy

        December 04, 2010 at 1:21 pm

        What a nice nice post Beth. I've been gone too long to have been a recent cookie recipient, but your post made me think so much of Hermine and how her warmth and generosity live on in Sharon and in all who were lucky enough to know her. Made me feel happy and sad at the same time.

        Reply
  8. sandy corman

    December 03, 2010 at 4:02 pm

    Do you remember Grandma Reich's rugalach? Truly the best in the whole world. Relatives would convene every Friday night at our house in Brooklyn for tea and Grandmas baking goodies which also included her fabulous coffee cake. However
    your rugalach would make her very proud of you. Cant wait to eat some.

    Reply
    • omgyummy

      December 04, 2010 at 7:32 am

      I don't remember Grandma's rugelach and boy do I wish you knew how to make them or had the recipe. Luckily, our rugelach really are awesome don't you think? Wish I could turn back the clock and get all of Grandma's recipes!

      Reply
      • sandy corman

        December 04, 2010 at 10:37 am

        I Wish I could turn back clock too,and written down her recipes. Not only for her baking of cakes and cookies but also her onion rolls and breads. I remember that everyone who ate her goodies begged her to open a bakery but she turned us down.

        Reply
  9. Richard Bernhardt

    December 03, 2010 at 2:07 pm

    As a recipient and participant in the Hermine cookie ritual for most of my adult life, I must say the world lost a premier cookie genius and all around wonderful person. She did what any good cook does, puts love and attention into her cooking. Better yet, she inovled those she cared about in the process making the ritual a vital part of the season. It took me a milisecond to recognize the plat on OMG Yummy. Its like a part of something you live with and becomes part of your life. I miss Hermine terribly, but her tradition should live on not only with those who she loved; but for generations to come and many more who can make a tradition themselves from the tasty morsels. Hermine would be proud. - Richard

    Reply
    • omgyummy

      December 07, 2010 at 1:15 pm

      What a beautiful comment, Richard - maybe you want to write a guest post for me 🙂 I think Hermine would be proud but let's leave the final determination for when the first batch comes out of the oven. But seriously, we all miss her so much but I believe it really helps to write about it, talk about it, and do things that remind us of her. At least for me, it makes it better, not more painful. She lives on through us, I think.

      Reply
  10. Susan Woolf

    December 03, 2010 at 11:29 am

    What a fantastic post and tribute to a wonderful woman. What a great way to live on forever as new generations learn to bake as she did.

    Looking forward to getting together to bake and ideally sharing cookie recipes.

    Reply
    • omgyummy

      December 07, 2010 at 1:27 pm

      Sharing recipes and baking. Can't think of much I'd rather do except eat the results. And it really does feel like she lives on in the stories, recipes, and cookies that we share.

      Reply

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Beth Lee holding red chopsticks and eating rice out of blue bowl.

Hi, I'm Beth!

I'm a cookbook author, cooking teacher and preserved lemon lover. My family is a mix of Jewish, Hawaiian and Korean heritage. My virtual multicultural kitchen is always open. Let's cook together! 

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